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I really don't care how old you are, but I am probably obligated to mention that you shouldn't be reading this if you aren't 18 years old, or however old you have to be to look at porn. And if you're under 18, please don't read this in front of your parents, because I can't be held responsible if you're sent to church camp or some such shit.
And please, don't try to preach morals on me. I'm not interested at all.
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
happy happy
Current Music:
Nirvana - Nevermind
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When I was 12, I moved out of state, and got to totally start over. I made friends with the type of people who I felt most comfortable with, the stoner underachievers, but many of them thought I was a creepy psycho stalker, and I can't really blame them looking back, because I was. My mom and her husband had a pretty bad, often violent relationship, that unfortunately helped to form my early relationship problems, mainly jealousy and violence.More about violenceCollapse )
So I guess this is where I started to have a hard time being able to separate sex and violence. And by the way, I feel the need to mention this, I'm not a stalker now. I realized how unattractive it is and ended up going to the other extreme, and don't usually get jealous anymore. Isn't it interesting how people can change if they really want to?
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
amused amused
Current Music:
Malera
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( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
horny horny
Current Music:
Emperor - In the Nightside Eclipse
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I feel guilty a lot of the time. Guilty that when I look at men all I see is usually a pig who can get me off. Unless they are ugly, then I just see a pig. I'm sure they feel the same thing about me, but it isn't PC to say that you think all women are whores whose only use is to suck cock or squeeze out fucktrophies, but I think that's how a lot of guys feel. I feel bad for guys because thanks to feminism they had to turn into these weak excuses for men, who aren't afraid to cry in front of people, and who like to talk about their emotions, how their relationship with their mom formed their sex life, and generally become spineless pussies who cater to women who don't deserve it. I'm not saying that I think men and women should treat each other badly, I'm saying that I think people should only be treated with respect when they deserve it, and men and women need to figure out their role genderwise in and out of bed. More behind cutCollapse )
I wish someone would just tell me all this shit is totally normal and actually mean it. Actually, I wish I could tell myself that and mean it. T_T
Man, I suck at life today, I suck hard. I am such an ass...
Current Mood:
dirty dirty
Current Music:
Burzum - Aske
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I had written this whole bitchy whiny angsty rant about how I can't get laid lately to save my life and how I don't think I'm ugly but still can't get laid.
Now I feel like an asshole for writing it, so I deleted everything I wrote and replaced it with this. Because honestly, it's not really fair of me to be such an asshole about this. It's not the fault of certain other people that I am an insatiable sex addicted asshole who gets pissed off when people need to sleep or when people like to stay on the computer too long.
I need to get over myself and try to realize not everyone is here to serve me. Ha!
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
angry angry
Current Music:
Behemoth - And the Forests Dream Eternally
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( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
Current Location:
home
Current Mood:
happy happy
Current Music:
Nirvana - Nevermind
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( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
chipper chipper
Current Music:
Ministry - Rio Grande Blood
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I fear I am never going to get fucked again...
Why is it that I have to go and fall in love with someone who has things in his life that prevent him from giving me the fucking that I deserve? And why is it that after all these years of not wanting to be with only one person at a time, I just have to end up wanting to be with only him, this person who seems to not be able to give me everything I need? Why don't I have enough respect for myself to just tell him that if we don't fuck that it'll be over between us? I know it's true, but why can't I bring myself to tell him that in those exact words?
And why is it that even though I have had 2 extended conversations about this with him that he still just wants to take turns getting each other off? Does he have that little respect for me that it just doesn't matter to him that it's the most important thing to me and that it'd be a lot like me telling him that I don't know if I can ever give him a blow job because of x reason?
A lot of times it feels like there is no one for me. I am alone in this world it seems.
Current Mood:
discontent unsatisfied
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Sometimes I feel so bored and alone. I know that only through the power of the cock (or a cunt) can I feel fulfilled and happy and like I'm not alone. There are few people who can satisfy that urge and boredom through their presence alone.
I'm so preoccupied with things lately and even here in my personal journal I am not totally comfortable talking about them. I think I need to make a journal that no one I know has the link to. I've given it to a couple people who I don't mind reading my sick thoughts, but I think I also need some more privacy in my life. I don't want to have to censor myself at all, and right now, I am censoring myself. Big time.
Current Mood:
bored bored
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